The G-spot must be the most contentious and hotly debated part of women’s sexual anatomy. Some say it is the most important part of the female sex organs, others say there is no scientific evidence for its existence. It’s named after the German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg, who found it while looking into new methods of contraception (that’s where the G in G-spot comes from). For the sake of this work, we shall assume it exists.
So, the G-spot is a particularly sensitive area in the front wall of the vagina, often situated quite close to the vaginal opening, but always in the first third of the vagina. However, it’s not a single spot, but a small area, which is more sensitive than other parts of the vaginal wall. Deborah Sundahl, author of the book Female Ejaculation And The G-Spot, sees the G-spot as the area of the vaginal wall which touches most closely on a vast network of erectile tissue around the vagina made up in part of a gland which is equivalent to the prostate gland in men (therefore she calls it the female prostate).
I think this makes a lot of sense. However I also believe many women and men doubt the existence of the G-spot because they have exaggerated ideas about how it should work. If you think of the G-spot as a convenient button which you can push at any time to be rewarded by instantaneous, gigantic orgasms, you’re only going to be disappointed! As with other erectile sexual tissue in women’s genitals, the area of the G-spot needs time and stimulation to become filled with blood; it then becomes receptive to stronger stimuli and produces stronger, more pleasurable sensations. The G-spot area enlarges and protrudes more obviously into the vagina, the more aroused and sexually excited the tissues are. Therefore, if you want to look for your G-spot, give it time: you need to play with it for a while until your body responds with arousal. Another challenge is that many women are very cut off from the sensations in their genitals, which can then end up feeling numb or uncomfortable. You may need to massage your G-spot area gently over time to nurture it back into its full capacity for sexual sensitivity. There’s more on this kind of sexual healing for women under “love your genitals”.